


when the day breaks, i'll sleep by your side again.

by junfhongs



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Episode: s03e04 San Junipero, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Minor Kim Jonghyun | JR/Kwon Boa | BoA, Past Hwang Minhyun/Ong Seongwu, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 17:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junfhongs/pseuds/junfhongs
Summary: san junipero (black mirror)!AU. something about the promise of forever brings out the cynic in Minhyun, but it only takes a kind stranger with sad eyes to give him a new reason to hope again.





	when the day breaks, i'll sleep by your side again.

The waves are beautiful. It's been a while since Minhyun came here; they made little improvements since he last visited. Still, there's something unsettling about the perfection of the night, about the brightness of the stars in the night sky even as they're supposed to be outshined by the lights of the city. It doesn't matter now; they aren't meant to look deeply into anything.

Minhyun knows he has wonder written all over his face as he walks along the strip, taking in the little sights and signs that he's truly in the 20s. It was a nice era; Minhyun remembers living really, really good years of his life at this time, years filled with experiences that he couldn't have imagined a decade past. He chose his destination this week wisely, and there's a spring in his step as he walks into the brightest pub along this street, probably because it's just so _inviting._

It seems like half of the residents tonight had the same idea, and Minhyun finds himself almost pressed against the wall with how many people are in there, all laughing and smiling and having a great time. Minhyun tries to keep a blank face, but he can't help but grin as he feels like everyone's greeting him, welcoming him into this world. It's really, really nice.

Minhyun gets a drink from the bartender, and he's pleasantly surprised to find that it doesn't taste like piss or poison, much like the alcohol he knows unfortunately too well. He mentally checks his settings; _ah,_ his pleasure slider is at its highest level. That's good.

Still, there's something so intoxicating about being there, in the throng of people who are all chasing some sort of ecstasy that Minhyun can't understand. Maybe it's the willful ignorance that Minhyun hasn't managed to adopt, but he's starting to feel the sweat dripping down his back and the alcohol getting to his head. It's… _pleasurable,_ yes, but it's getting a little too much for Minhyun, too much for someone who hasn't experienced so many sensations all at once in such a long time.

He escapes through the back exit, sighing then deeply inhaling all the fresh air of a surprisingly unpolluted city. The sweat under his shirt's still there though, and Minhyun groans at the humidity of the night. Is San Junipero really like this all the time?

"Hey," a voice says. Minhyun turns his head towards someone he hasn't even noticed until then, someone sitting on the tightly-packed crates of the bar's inventory. "Tired?"

Minhyun feels a smile twitching at his lips as he regards this stranger: Korean; in his late twenties, like Minhyun; all dressed in… things that should have stayed back in the 2010s. They're also things that are likely to be _very_ uncomfortable in this damn humidity; how the hell is this guy surviving with a long-sleeved shirt under _another_ t-shirt?

"It's… about to rain," he says. "You should—" he points at the edge of the roof over his head, "get under."

As soon as he speaks, Minhyun hears a heavy raindrop fall on a sheet of metal on the ground, and it takes him another three seconds before he inches closer to this guy, and _then_ it pours. Minhyun's grateful for the early warning.

"Don't sweat it," the man says, and Minhyun feels his eyes narrowing as he stares at the distance.

"Are you a mind reader?" asks Minhyun. The slight hostility in his voice isn't meant to be taken seriously, and the stranger seems to get that immediately, now laughing quietly into the sleeve of his shirt. _Once again, very suspicious intuition._

"I'm not," he insists. "It's what I would do if I were in your position. You know, _thank_ the kind stranger who kept me from getting drenched?"

Minhyun breaks out the smile he was holding back for a while now. "Okay, thank you then, _kind stranger_." He holds his hand out, and he's shocked when he distinctly feels the roughness of the man's palm as they shake hands. Sensations are so… weird. Maybe Minhyun needs to employ more of that willful ignorance; this is something meant to be experienced, enjoyed to the fullest. In a snap, he starts to understand the craze that's going on inside that club.

"Jonghyun," the stranger finally introduces himself. He pauses as he's holding Minhyun's hand, eyes softening for a moment before Minhyun feels like he can start speaking again.

"Minhyun. Nice to meet you, I guess." He shrugs as he lets go of Jonghyun's hand, though he takes the briefest moment to look into Jonghyun's eyes again before facing forward again, observing the rain and how it hits the pavement so loudly. "Are you a regular here?"

From the corner of his eye, Minhyun can see Jonghyun shaking his head, that same peaceful smile on his face. "Not a regular, per se, but I do come quite often. I take it you're not from here either?"

"How'd you know, mind reader?" Minhyun doesn't know why he's teasing this person so much; is that what this place does to people? Bring back a side that's been dead and gone for so long?

Jonghyun laughs again, and it's a funny, choked sound that makes Minhyun smile too. "You don't seem to like this place very much."

"It's not that I don't like it. It's just that I—" Well, why does Minhyun seem so hesitant to live in this fantasy, even for just a few hours? Is it because he's so painfully aware of the life he has to go to when the clock strikes twelve? It's not like he has much unfinished business back there, but still. It's a life to finish living, nonetheless. He settles for a simple, "I don't understand it."

Jonghyun nods and hums along to the faint sounds of the music blaring in the club behind them. "What's there to understand?" he asks before hopping off his perch and taking a big step forward, straight out of the shelter he had been hiding under.

"You're going to get— too late." Minhyun shakes his head. "Why invite me under this if you're going to try and get yourself sick anyway?"

"'Sick'?" Jonghyun asks incredulously, raising his voice to hear himself through the rain. "That doesn't happen here."

"I know, but—" Minhyun shrugs. "I had a nasty case of pneumonia a few years back. I'd rather not risk it."

Jonghyun breaks into this big laugh, one that makes his head tilt back and makes Minhyun wonder if rainwater is getting into his mouth. His sleeves are sticking to his arms now, and his large clothes getting wetter and wetter and revealing just how small his frame is under his clothes. Minhyun gets the urge to drag him back into safety, to protect this damn idiot who's having the time of his life getting drenched by the rain.

He stops himself, however, and holds a hand out to the rain, watching Jonghyun's reaction to this pointless exercise. "Happy now?" Minhyun asks, and Jonghyun merely grins. His bright eyes are peeking out from behind his wet hair. Minhyun takes that as a 'yes'.

They stand there for a while, Minhyun under his roof and Jonghyun under the rain, until Minhyun notices Jonghyun with his head ducked down, smiling at his feet. Minhyun wishes he could take a picture of this right now, take a picture of this crazy person standing so still under the pouring rain, take a picture of the city lights reflecting off the puddles on the pavement, take a picture of the raindrops in midair, take a picture of this mere _moment,_ of the absurdity of someone standing under the rain as if it's the greatest moment of his life.

Minhyun doesn't understand, so his first instinct is to ask. "What's so fun about standing in the rain? Is your pleasure meter above the limit right now?"

"It's… something new." Jonghyun then looks up and steps to the side, right in front of Minhyun. His hand hovers over Minhyun's still-outstretched hand. "Live a little with me, Minhyun."

Minhyun sighs and does just that, taking Jonghyun's hand and allowing him to guide him forward, as if Minhyun can't take that first step on his own. He walks until he's drenched by the rain too, until they're just two idiots standing at the back of a club, holding hands and getting wet and unconsciously smiling at the ground. Minhyun still doesn't get it, still doesn't understand why he feels so happy, so free, but he gets his answer when Jonghyun looks up at him and lets go of his hand.

"I'm… having the time of my life, Jonghyun," Minhyun deadpans, but he remembers Jonghyun's words. _Live a little._ "You seem like the only person who's not hellbent on partying until they wake up, so I'll ask you." Jonghyun blinks the water out of his eyes. "Why are you so happy here?"

Jonghyun takes a deep breath and sighs. He steps forward a little, just so Minhyun can hear him better over the loud pattering of the rain. "For some people, this is a place to make up for all their regrets. For others, it's a place to live a life that you never had a chance to experience before." Jonghyun smiles. "I'm here for a little bit of both, honestly. Mostly the latter."

Minhyun isn't done with him though. "Then what about the regulars? The residents here? What's in it for them?"

"It's—" Jonghyun throws his arms out. "It's forever! An eternity of living the good parts of life!" he yells through the rain. "You— you could start again, live freely. You could be anything or anyone and no one has to question it. You could… fall in love!" Jonghyun starts laughing here, and Minhyun sees the dreaminess in his bright eyes. "You could fall in love and live forever in happiness. Or you could fall out of it and never get hurt. Then do it again, over and over again, and never have any regrets. Because this world is limitless, Minhyun." Jonghyun holds Minhyun's wrists. " _We_ are limitless."

Minhyun could feel the liberation in Jonghyun's voice, in the pure happiness in his words. It's the sound of someone who truly believes that this place is a sanctuary, a paradise. For many people, San Junipero is a miracle. Something tells Minhyun that this is how Jonghyun sees it.

Minhyun feels the wind starting to blow the raindrops in a certain direction, and now it's starting to get into his eyes. The two of them step closer to each other and laugh as they almost lean into each other, waiting for the wind to settle and for the rain to continue as normal. Minhyun feels Jonghyun's warmth even through the chill of the rain, and he's surprisingly welcoming it, welcoming the touch and the talking and many other things that he hasn't experienced in a while. Somehow that seems to be the theme of this night: _it's been so damn long._

The wind stops but the rain's even stronger now. It's okay; Minhyun doesn't seem to be feeling the cold anymore as Jonghyun looks up at him with squinting eyes, a grimace on his lips, and his hands still on Minhyun's wrists.

In another world, in another time, with another Minhyun who lived a different life, maybe Minhyun would read the mood right and fall for the saccharine haze of this world, fall for Jonghyun's lips and how they parted slightly as he breathed, fall for those drops of water trailing down his face, fall for the eyes of a stranger for _just one night,_ no limits and no regrets.

But not in this world. Not this time. Not with this Minhyun who lived such a beautiful and happy life with someone who he should have been looking for since he got here because it was the only reason why he even decided to log into San Junipero after five years of leaving it out of his world.

"I'm— I'm looking for someone. Someone important to me," says Minhyun, and that instantly breaks the spell. Jonghyun lets go of him, gently pushing at his chest to walk them both under the roof. They wring their clothes out in silence until they're back where they started, although a little bit uncomfortable— but _not_ because their clothes are sopping wet.

"Who's… this person?" Jonghyun asks, a smile returning to his face. That must be what it's like to really adopt the mindset in this perfect town; nothing bothers people anymore, not unless they want it to.

"My lifelong partner. Or afterlife-long partner, I guess." Minhyun smiles at the thought of it, of being able to wake up in this universe and feel nothing but joy as they stomp on the words, _'till death do us part'._ One day, when he dies. But not right now. "Ong Seongwu? Have you heard of him?"

Jonghyun shakes his head. "I don't think so. I'm only here a few times every week."

"Right, and the last time I've been here was five years ago, so…" Minhyun chuckles and tries to look around. Where else would Seongwu stay? "He's a club person. Is this the best and brightest that this town has to offer?"

Jonghyun jumps off his stack of crates again. "Yeah, if he's a party guy, he'll be here. You sure he's in this decade?"

"We agreed on it; the 2020s, best time in our lives." Minhyun beams at the sky, at its fat raindrops and how it seems to only want to ruin his night. "Though it has been a while since I last visited."

"Why?" Jonghyun's voice softens. "Five years, huh? Wouldn't it have been better to see him all the time instead of… waiting to pass over until you can be with him again?"

Minhyun bites his lip. That's true. He's been thinking about that for years, but… "I enjoyed it for the first two years since he passed over. This place is… wonderful, if you still believe in the fantasy. But I got sicker and sicker, and every time I had to wake up, it felt like torture to be away from him."

Minhyun knows what Jonghyun's about to ask next. "Why not just—"

"I don't want to _die,_ Jonghyun." Minhyun's eyes are wide with panic. He doesn't know why he's still afraid of it, especially since he knows how it'll end: _right here._ What's to fear when there's an afterlife of happiness waiting for you? "I… have a son. I have grandchildren, people I love, people I won't see until they're stuck in centers for the aged where they're left to rot and wait until they can enter San Junipero." Minhyun shook his head. "I don't want to wait that long. I'd rather… live my real life to the fullest now."

Jonghyun blinks at him, and Minhyun gives in to the temptation to brush off the droplets of water on Jonghyun's hair. That seems to hold him in place, his eyes wide as he stares up at Minhyun blankly. And just like that, the light comes back to his eyes, and he takes Minhyun's wrist in his hand. "I think I know where we can stay and look for him."

"Lead the way then, kind stranger." Minhyun feels something come over him, like peace and the spirit of a _yes man._ Jonghyun's right; he has to live a little.

Jonghyun leads him up the fire escape of the club and quietly opens the door at the side of a building. It's leading to the balcony overlooking the dance floor, giving them a good view of the place without the side effect of the temporary deafness. Minhyun sighs as he inhales the smell of sweat and alcohol, but he's glad to see that Jonghyun shares his discomfort.

"You don't like the club scene too, do you?" asks Minhyun, leaning over to yell into Jonghyun's ear. Jonghyun nods in response, but he backs off a bit and scrunches his nose at Minhyun. "Oh wow, I can actually hear myself a lot better."

"I hate the crowded part, but I like watching the crowd," Jonghyun says. This very picture before him of Jonghyun leaning over the railing with the moving lights bouncing off his peaceful face tells Minhyun the story of someone happy but lonely. Somehow Minhyun's glad he decided to walk out of this crowd and into Jonghyun's peaceful space; he sure likes the view from up here.

Jonghyun glances at him and meets his eyes. "See him yet?" he asks quietly. It's the softness of his voice that reminds Minhyun that his thoughts are probably loud enough to be heard from where Jonghyun's standing. "You won't see him here," Jonghyun teases as he turns Minhyun's face to look at the crowd again.

They've managed to turn the dance floor into one whole moving body, each person almost indistinguishable from the other. Minhyun sighs and shakes his head. "This is—"

"It's not impossible, Minhyun." Jonghyun grins before Minhyun accuses him of being a telepath again. "I told you; this place is limitless. Too bad we don't get magical powers or anything like that."

"Wouldn't _that_ be a nightmare," Minhyun mumbled. He glanced down at his watch; _less than an hour before midnight._ "Well, I don't really know where else to look."

"Maybe you aren't meant to find him tonight." Jonghyun inches closer until their forearms are touching, still damp from the rain. His voice is so calm, so flat. Jonghyun says he's still alive, so why does he lack any urgency in his voice? Why does he seem like he's already about to start his eternity here, where nothing seems to matter when there is no more end? "I can ask around, see if anyone here has met him or remembers him pass by," Jonghyun offers.

It's… _so generous,_ so unexpectedly kind that Minhyun finds himself tearing up. Who is this stranger and why does Minhyun feel so much warmth as they stand beside each other, watching over a scene instead of participating in the festivities celebrating… absolutely nothing but the idea that they're still _alive,_ one way or another?

"Thank you, Jonghyun." Minhyun takes his hand and presses a soft kiss against his fingers, a little something to express his gratitude. Jonghyun takes it in stride, laughing before looking back in front of him.

"Midnight's coming," says Jonghyun. "I'll meet you downstairs when you come back."

Minhyun nods his agreement, and then they spend the rest of their time in San Junipero, watching and waiting for the familiar beep before they're woken up from their nap. Minhyun thinks he should be out there, exploring the city or walking along the beach or doing absolutely everything he hasn't done in decades, but… there's something about this little slice of peace in such a busy town. It's easy to lose himself in the atmosphere, to fall for the illusion. But he doesn't want to yet.

His last memory before waking up is Jonghyun's smile as he squeezes Minhyun's hand and vanishes to black too.

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun doesn't waste any time when he arrives in San Junipero again the next week. He stops by the same club, observes the growing crowd, and attempts to drink before giving up and walking out the back exit. His heart falls when he doesn't see Jonghyun by the crates. He doesn't know why he's so disappointed; is it because he wanted to find Seongwu? Or is it because he's hoping to see Jonghyun again, the only person who doesn't seem like a mindless zombie addicted to happiness in this damn perfect town?

His thoughts are disrupted by a car horn honking. It's Jonghyun, sitting on the hood of his car and waving at Minhyun. "Hey!" he yells.

Minhyun's grinning now, and he takes his time meandering towards Jonghyun. "Sweet ride. Do you actually have one of those or—"

"Just the collectible figure." Jonghyun laughs. "Hop in! I'll show you something."

Minhyun doesn't hesitate to get in the passenger seat, making an impressed sound as the top rolls down and Jonghyun starts driving like a madman. Maybe Minhyun _should_ have hesitated a bit before trusting a stranger with his life, but Jonghyun's loud laughter and the way it echoes out into the city makes Minhyun relax, loosening up his vice grip on his seatbelt and releasing a peal of laughter as Jonghyun makes it out of the city proper alive.

"I think you're going too fast!" Minhyun yells.

"I know, I am!" Jonghyun manages to wink at him before driving the car completely off the road, almost giving Minhyun's _actual_ body a heart attack. It's only when Jonghyun slows down and starts following a trail in the grass that Minhyun realizes he's heading towards a house by the beach, the only one in this area. Jonghyun parks and drums his fingers on the steering wheel. "Welcome to my crib."

Minhyun rolls his eyes, but he can't help but gape at the view. When Jonghyun starts living here for real, he's going to wake up to the sunrise _every single day._ What a thought.

"Nice, huh? We can't see much of the beach because it's dark already, but the night sky—" Jonghyun sits on the porch steps and pats the space beside him. Minhyun takes off his shoes and sits there, digging his toes into the damp sand. "The stars are beautiful. It reminds me of home."

"I'm surprised _anything_ reminds you of home here." Minhyun chuckles. "Aren't we on the Korean server? Why don't they rename it… uh, 'Neo Jeju' for us or something?"

Jonghyun starts laughing. "Hey, just be grateful that they localized the signs and the cultural references for us."

It's moments like these when Minhyun really appreciates the fact that he met Jonghyun. What if he were stuck with someone who's so sold on the idea of this place that they've forgotten what it was like to pick on the little things that remind them that they're _really_ alive? Minhyun can't. He _knows_ this place is just a box, one that's bright and beautiful but _never real._

"Why'd you bring me here, Jonghyun?" Minhyun listens to the waves crash against the shore, but it can't cover up how loud his heart is beating, how his mind is racing at the prolonged silence that Jonghyun is giving him. "Did you… hear anything? About Seongwu?"

Jonghyun doesn't talk. The silence stretches on until the waves are almost grating to Minhyun's ear, until he's ready to burst with anticipation and the dread that's already settled in his stomach. "Jonghyun—"

"I spend a lot of time here, not by choice. Doctors put me here as my form of anesthesia. I spend a lot of time walking, going back and forth to different periods of time to relive every memory I have. I talk to people too, sometimes. Not the way I talk to you, but enough to know who's a resident here and who's a tourist.

"I went to every decade I can go to, asked about Seongwu. I met someone who remembers him." Jonghyun kicks sand with one foot over to the other foot, until it's buried and he has to start all over again on the other side. Minhyun finds himself staring, even as he knows that Jonghyun's just stalling.

"And?"

"And he's passed over, Minhyun."

The dots aren't connecting, not between Jonghyun's words and the way he refuses to meet Minhyun's eyes. Not between his words and the way he said it, as if he's _apologizing._ "Of course, he's passed over. Seven years ago, in fact. I don't get—"

 _"Minhyun,"_ Jonghyun says softly, "he passed away."

Words, words, words. So meaningful and meaningless. Minhyun can't wrap his head around anything, can't get past the haze of this world his pleasure meters and pain sliders and the things that are keeping his mind from _clarity,_ from understanding what the hell Jonghyun was going on about. "People don't die here, Jonghyun."

"No, they don't. But they can choose to leave." Jonghyun's hand twitches over Minhyun's, but he settles it on the wood of the porch, right beside Minhyun's slowly clenching fist. "Seongwu left San Junipero. His soul, his consciousness… he's gone."

Jonghyun doesn't hear Minhyun's heart breaking, not with the waves beating against the shore like that. Not with the sudden sob that escapes Minhyun's lips, quickly stifled by a hand over his mouth and Minhyun's quick movements, pacing in front of Jonghyun.

 _Denial._ "No. Those people— who are they? They must know a different Seongwu, it can't be my Seongwu they're talking about."

"Minhyun—"

"Even _you_ don't know him." Minhyun's voice was rising now. "How could you know who you're even asking about, huh? What if they're just lying, fucking around, and pretending to know him?"

"There's no point in lying here, Minhyun. The Seongwu that they know, the Seongwu _you_ love— there's no point in pretending that they're different people. I've—" Jonghyun sighed. "I asked from every single decade. Everyone who's encountered him knows that he's gone. _I'm sorry._ "

 _Anger._ "Fuck that." Minhyun kicks up the sand. "There _no way_ that asshole would do this to me. Why? _Why would he die before me, before I even got here?_ "

"I can't answer that," Jonghyun mumbles. "Maybe… he got impatient."

"'Impatient'?" Minhyun's eyes narrow at him. "So you're saying it's _my fault_ why he decided to pass away? Because I didn't show up? Because I wanted to spend every hour with the people who _I_ won't ever see, not until a few more fucking decades pass and I'm sick of this fucking town and Seongwu's fucking face after sixty years of—"

 _Bargaining._ Minhyun chokes up, and he tries to conceal it by pacing even faster. "There must be a— a _backup server,_ a second round, _something._ An admin? Can't I check if he's really gone?"

Jonghyun shakes his head. "There's no one here who actually knows how this world works. I mean, maybe the company who developed it can answer your questions—"

"We're just in the fucking cloud!" Minhyun yells in the silence of the beach. "We're just _data_ in a fucking simulation; they can bring him _back,_ Jonghyun. They can."

 _Depression._ Minhyun stops pacing, stops walking, stops moving altogether. He stands facing the shore, wind whipping past his hair. Maybe from one angle, it looks beautiful, just someone standing in the darkness, the light gently bouncing off his skin. In reality, it's almost like watching someone break from within, like watching the light pass through glass and seeing all the cracks right before it completely shatters.

Minhyun walks forward in silence, closer to the edge of the water. Then he sits down and watches the waves until they lap at his feet, until they drench his shins, until he has his hands supporting his body behind him as he looks up at the sky and wonders, _'why, Seongwu?'_

"Hey," Jonghyun takes a seat beside him, waiting until his legs are wet with the waves too, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" asks Minhyun. "It's not your fault that it's— that it's not _fair—_ "

Minhyun sobs now, tears flowing down his face as the grief eats him whole. He didn't cry like this when Seongwu actually died. He kissed his cold forehead and whispered, 'see you soon,' and that was that. But _this?_ This is torture, this is _betrayal,_ this is the first time that he's actually had to deal with the very real thought that Seongwu is _gone,_ truly gone.

"It's— it's so unfair," Minhyun rasps, voice hoarse from all the crying, "that he— he gets to be impatient with me, with the life I still wanted to fucking live. It's not fair that he loses hope while I have to lose _him!_ "

His voice cracks just that once, and then Jonghyun is pulling him close, hugging him against his chest until all Minhyun can do is beat weakly against his ribs because there's nothing he can do, no one else he can blame or fight. They've cheated death already; what more can he do?

Minhyun gets a whiff of the sea air, of the familiar saltiness that reminds him of a world that he hasn't properly seen in so long. This world is… is so _fake._ It's made of numbers and data and people's perception of the lives they lived at these times. It's just fake _hope,_ hope that there's truly life after death, that this afterlife is still worth living when it's not. Nothing's worth it.

"What's the point of this?" Minhyun whispers. Jonghyun maneuvers them so that Minhyun is leaning on Jonghyun's shoulder instead. It gives him a view of the sea, of the horizon that will always be too far to reach. If he takes a boat and starts rowing, starts reaching for the sky or the far seas, what will that give him? What does he hope to achieve? "Why am I even here now?"

Jonghyun sighs. "I'm sorry… that it's not the eternity you wanted for yourself anymore."

Minhyun bristles. "Well, thanks for fucking reminding me—"

"Hear me out," Jonghyun interrupts. "San Junipero— it's limitless. To me, it's a place where I can live the way I want to, without people looking at me and only being able to pity me and nothing else. To do everything that I couldn't even dream of, even at my best state." He's smiling at the sky again. Jonghyun finds so much joy in these numbers, in this artificial world. Minhyun almost envies him.

"To you," Jonghyun tries to look at Minhyun, but their eyes elude each other, "it could be anything now. You could be anyone, if you wanted to. If you tried."

It's an overly hopeful message, one that falls on deaf ears. Jonghyun doesn't know him, doesn't understand what lifelong love is. He doesn't know true heartbreak; he only knows disappointment and pain from whatever life he lived. And it's that thought that holds Minhyun back from lashing out at him again. It's that thought that keeps him from using Jonghyun's words against him, from ruining the one good thing he found in this artificial hellhole posing as paradise. Because Jonghyun doesn't _know anything,_ and it's not like Minhyun knows anything about him either.

So he files away that hurt for another day, another time. When he wakes up from this place, it's not like the pain will be gone, as if it's only contained here where Seongwu's soul was contained once. It'll be there and it'll sting and break him more than anything else, but for now, he's brave enough to take one step forward.

"You said this place reminds you of home," Minhyun says. His hand is supporting his torso from behind too, and when he pulls back to sit up properly, his hand brushes past Jonghyun's. He takes it and takes off the damp sand sticking in clumps between his fingers. _Rough._ Jonghyun is real, somewhere in the real world. "Where are you right now?"

"Here," Jonghyun answers simply. He reads the mood and finds the energy to smile. Minhyun's unimpressed look gives him the permission to laugh again, and Minhyun almost misses the light feeling he always had when he was laughing with Jonghyun. Even with just two nights of knowing each other, Minhyun sees Jonghyun as his friend. "Gangneung, where I grew up."

Minhyun briefly remembers a road trip with Seongwu and their friends, taking pictures by the beach and making fun of famous dramas at the time. Minhyun didn't know he was going to fall in love there until he did, and the rest is history. It's a scattered dream now. A far-off memory.

"Busan is a little far, but I think I'm strong enough to make the trip." Jonghyun looks at Minhyun with wide eyes. "What? Do I not have enough time left?"

"Five months, yeah, but…" Jonghyun gapes, mouth opening before he loses track of his thoughts again and darts his eyes away. "I don't think you want to see me as I am."

 _Right,_ Jonghyun is one of those people who don't want to have anything to do with their real bodies, and most of the time, it's for good reason. But Minhyun doesn't care, doesn't need his excuses. "Jonghyun, you're one of the few people who I still see as a real person in here. Just… let me be a friend. A real friend. In real life."

Jonghyun still doesn't look at him straight in the eyes, doesn't want to see Minhyun, and yet he still manages to smile weakly and nod. Because he knows it's what Minhyun needs. _Something real._

"It's almost midnight," Jonghyun says softly.

"Okay." Minhyun wraps his arm around Jonghyun's shoulders and holds back the last bit of tears he's been holding back. "I'll see you soon."

 

 

———

 

 

"Oh, Jonghyun! You didn't tell me your visitor's going to be this handsome." The attractive nurse winks at Minhyun. "He got all dressed up for you. It's so _cute._ "

"Shut up, Minki," Jonghyun looks up from his tablet and smiles at Minhyun in the doorway, "but you are right. He's an eyeful."

"You aged well too." Minhyun takes slow steps to the chair across Jonghyun's wheelchair and takes a seat, not breaking eye contact even once. "Dongho," Minhyun looks up at his assistant, "I think we'll be good." The two nurses leave them alone in the room, and then there's silence.

"So? What were you hoping for?" Jonghyun's voice is even gruffer now.

"Nothing, actually. Just wanted to see you." Minhyun takes Jonghyun's hand over the table, maybe not as rough but even more delicate now. Minhyun uses what little strength he has to squeeze. "Is the wheelchair a choice or…?"

"Car crash. Paralyzed from the waist down. Haven't walked since I was thirteen."

Jonghyun waits for Minhyun's response, and what he gets is an, "I'm sorry," with eyes full of pity. It's the wrong answer, and Minhyun immediately feels Jonghyun pull his hand away. "I'm— I mean, you're… still a reckless driver even after all of that?"

Somehow that's a little better. Jonghyun's smile isn't as bright, but Minhyun still feels so much warmth as he sees it. "I never got the chance. I might as well go for it."

They talk. It's what they always do, even when they're in San Junipero, but it's Minhyun's favorite part about meeting Jonghyun. He misses having someone real actually converse with him, someone who doesn't just see him as a widow or a dying sack. They talk about a lot of things too, like their lives and their friends and all the things they loved about living. Minhyun doesn't mention Seongwu, and neither does Jonghyun. Through the kindness in their hearts, they choose to make this into a pleasant exchange.

"I hope… I don't stop seeing you in San Junipero," Jonghyun says. Minhyun stiffens up. "I know it's probably a pointless place for you now, but… you're my friend, right? The only friend I've made after spending all that time there. And I only have a few months left in this old tank." Jonghyun chuckles.

"But you're choosing to pass over. You're not going to lose any time there."

Jonghyun takes Minhyun's hand. "But I don't know if you will. I just want whatever time I can get with you, Minhyun." It's the sincerity in Jonghyun's voice that makes Minhyun nod weakly. He hates that he's making this promise, that he's opening up the possibility of seeing that world without Seongwu in it again. But for Jonghyun, his friend, _maybe_ he'll consider. If they're all here to grant last wishes to each other, he might as well enjoy what time he has left before he decides to pass away for good.

The door opens. "Hey, Jonghyun. I'm bringing your lunch in. Does the other old man want something?" Minki walks in and sets the trays down in front of them.

Minhyun's brows furrow. "Hey, Jonghyun. I might just be a _cranky old man,_ but I think your nurse is a little rude."

"Oh, that's not my nurse. That's my son." Jonghyun gives him a crooked smile.

"For the _tenth time,_ I'm not your son," Minki mumbles, though the gentleness in his actions betrays the fondness he feels for Jonghyun.

"I wish I had a son," Jonghyun says dreamily, "but I certainly wouldn't raise him to be like you, though."

"Well," Minki huffs, "it's not _my_ fault you're going to die a virgin, so—" Minhyun spits out the water he was trying to drink before Minki decided to hit them with _that._

Jonghyun weakly hits Minki with a spoon. "Oh, _shut up,_ Minki _._ "

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun doesn't log on for a while, and maybe a little part of Jonghyun's heart breaks when he can't find Minhyun for the second week in a row. Maybe he was asking for too much, hoping for something that Minhyun couldn't handle yet; it doesn't matter. Jonghyun takes his extra time as a chance to really explore the city and all he can do in all the time periods he can go to.

It's in the 2010s when he finds Minhyun again, leaning against the same crates where Minhyun found him that very first time. Jonghyun takes slow steps towards him, but he's greeted by a sad smile as soon as Minhyun feels his presence. "I didn't think I'd find you here. Or that you'd come back at all."

"I made a promise, right?" Minhyun allows Jonghyun to lean his forehead on his shoulder and press himself close to Minhyun in something akin to a hug. "I… talked to the company. They said they can bring him back as data, but if the soul's not properly there, it'll never be the same. It's just like… fucking a corpse."

"Or an NPC," Jonghyun mumbles, but all he can do is sigh and properly hug Minhyun. He doesn't look too broken up about it, doesn't sound like he's hurting anymore. Maybe that's what acceptance is. Or maybe he just doesn't want to dwell on it anymore.

Maybe Jonghyun can help with that. "Come on. Let's go out."

"We _are_ out," Minhyun retorts.

"No, let's— let's enjoy the night, Minhyun. Let's… have fun, whatever fun is supposed to be here." Jonghyun grins and takes Minhyun by the wrists again. "Please, Minhyun. For me?"

Minhyun rolls his eyes and gets off his perch. "Lead the way, kind stranger."

"Am I, though?" Jonghyun's fishing for something; Minhyun's at least okay enough to start teasing.

"Fine then, _dying friend._ Lead me as you please." Jonghyun starts walking Minhyun to the front entrance of this club in an attempt to start from the top.

It's the start of a long night, a _fun_ night. Minhyun finds himself in the same position as all those zombies he used to look down on, the ones who were chasing after something so elusive, it probably wasn't real. And Minhyun's right; it's not real. None of this is, except for the thrill he feels as he downs another shot— one that he wouldn't have been able to tolerate in real life if he didn't have the pleasure sliders and all these little settings that made this experience into the painless paradise that they advertised it as.

And the smile on his face? That's real. His laughter as Jonghyun stumbles and finds himself face first into some girl's chest? Real too. The warmth in his fingertips as he holds Jonghyun by the waist and presses against him in the ever-moving crowd of partying and dancing and reckless abandon? Realer than Minhyun expected.

They're stumbling along the strip, walking aimlessly in the night, when they realize that they're on the beach now and Jonghyun's house is right behind them. "We walked that _entire_ thing?" Minhyun collapses on the sand.

"My car!" Jonghyun moans. He lies down beside Minhyun and turns on his side to face him. "Oh well, they're bound to give that back in the morning."

"The morning," Minhyun whispers. "I wonder what this place looks like in the day."

"It's…" Jonghyun sighs with a dreamy expression on his face. His chest is pressed up against Minhyun's side, and they shiver as the waves lap against their legs. "It's beautiful, even more beautiful than it is at night. I mean, at night, we have the lights and the stars." He raises his hand and starts tracing shapes there, little constellations he could pick out from memory.

Minhyun stiffens. _The constellation on Seongwu's cheek, his favorite spot to kiss in the morning._

"I love the night because the waves are louder. It drowns out everything, especially the things I don't want to think about anymore," Jonghyun whispers. Minhyun's starting to go back to his theory that Jonghyun's secretly a telepath, but then he's distracted by Jonghyun's hand on his chest and his soft eyes still sparkling with the distant glow of the city lights reflecting off them.

"But the day, _wow._ It's nothing but warmth all over." Jonghyun lips curl into the softest smile. "Of course, only the regulars are there. I'm a special case since I'm so close to death, but when you're around them, you really see how happy this place makes them. And the sky is always clear, the cats are always friendly," Minhyun chuckles at that, "and the sand… it's my favorite. Sometimes I'm allowed to login in the morning, and all I do for hours on end is… lie down. The sand is always warm and the waves are always so cool, and you could lose yourself here."

Maybe that's what's happening to Minhyun. Maybe that's why his lids are so heavy and his skin is so warm and his body is turning ever so slightly to the side as Jonghyun reaches forward to kiss him on the lips, something that he should have been expecting from the moment he felt that hand on his chest.

_A thumb on his chin. Seongwu's lips, the only lips he's ever tasted in his life._

Minhyun stops him, pulls away the slightest bit, and shivers as Jonghyun's hand rests over his neck now, the wet sand on the side of his hand sticking to Minhyun's skin. Minhyun sits up and tries to back away from Jonghyun. "I— I can't—"

"Minhyun, I understand."

"No! You _don't,_ " he yells, his voice cracking at the last word.

"Listen, _I do,_ " Jonghyun insists. "I may not understand it as if I've gone through it, but I know enough to feel how much you're hurting and how every bit of happiness feels like a betrayal _._ " Minhyun takes in a shaky breath at that word. "I know you feel like you're betraying the memory of him or your love for him by doing this, but— Minhyun, let's be _real._ There's no one to stay faithful to anymore."

Minhyun grits his teeth. "Don't you dare—"

"Minhyun!" Jonghyun raises his voice for the first time. They're still on the sand, Minhyun leaning back and Jonghyun with a hand resting forward. Minhyun is the spooked animal while Jonghyun's the one trying to get something through to him, _anything_ past the thick mental defenses of his stubbornness. "I'm sorry, but I know that Seongwu wouldn't want you to be this miserable all the time. This is supposed to be your forever, the place to be happy. I… I'm sure he was happy in his last moments, but Minhyun, he made his choice. So should you."

Jonghyun isn't in an aggressive position. He's not attacking Minhyun in any way; he's _coaxing_ him out of this— this _trap_ he set out for himself. If Minhyun makes one move, does one thing that's unfamiliar to him and to the life he's lived, he thinks he's doing it wrong, that he's living a life that isn't true to him and to his memory of Seongwu.

But _why?_ Minhyun asks himself why he's letting this be his early death, why he's allowing himself to suffer when he would never beat himself up like this. And for what? For not being with Seongwu when—Jonghyun's right— _he's gone._ Seongwu's gone and Minhyun's still here.

Jonghyun's here too. Jonghyun, his only friend in this eternity without Seongwu. Jonghyun, someone who has been kind and welcoming and everything Minhyun needed when he came back to this experience so suddenly. Jonghyun, the person whose face he's holding now, the one who Minhyun's leaning in to kiss for the second time this night.

And the third. And the fourth. And so many more until they find themselves on Jonghyun's huge bed looking out at the sea, not even caring about the wide open windows or the cool air making goosebumps rise on their flesh. Minhyun cups Jonghyun's face and dips down for a kiss, but he's stopped by Jonghyun's hands over his and the quiver of his bottom lip as he waits to speak.

"I— honestly, I don't know how to use anything down there," Jonghyun says, sheepish and shy. Minhyun lowers his hips and smiles as Jonghyun sighs against his lips.

"I'll take care of you, I promise."

That he did. Minhyun thinks it's strange that it's so easy to be with Jonghyun now. He thinks it should have been more difficult to adjust to the new partner, to get over the mental hurdles and emotional roadblocks that kept him from ever finding happiness from anyone other than Seongwu.

But why suffer? Even just for tonight, Jonghyun offered himself, and Minhyun took it. Minhyun dived in and took an opportunity to be with someone who's quickly dug his way into Minhyun's heart as the only person worth going into this digital world for. Right now, his only reason to be here is Jonghyun, and he doesn't really know how to put that into words.

"We… we started too late," Jonghyun whispers as he rests his head on Minhyun's chest. He's tracing patterns on Minhyun's skin, odd shapes with odd angles that reminds Minhyun of the constellations in the sky they watched earlier that night. Somehow that seems like a whole world away, another time in his life. "This is my favorite part."

"What is?" Minhyun has his arm under Jonghyun's neck, and he tangles his fingers into his hair. Jonghyun seems to like it, reaching up to his touch.

"The afterglow," Jonghyun mumbles against Minhyun's skin. Minhyun kisses the crown of his head and smiles against his hair. The waves are loud in the background, the horizon starts right at the tips of their toes, and yet there's nowhere else Minhyun wants to be at this moment, nothing he's trying to drown out.

"It's nearly midnight." Minhyun glances at the clock. Just… a few more seconds. Just a few more should be enough, but there's a distinct moment, a split second, in which he finds himself asking for just _one more,_ another second to touch Jonghyun's skin or breathe in the scent of his hair or feel his breaths dampening the already sweaty skin of Minhyun's chest. Just one more would be enough.

But then it fades to black.

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun understands what those mindless zombies are searching for now. He understands what it feels like to chase after something every single time he's here, every single time he's given a taste of this paradise. It's not the sex. It's not the softness of Jonghyun's skin or the warmth of his body. It's not even the actual climax he's going after, no.

What he needs are the moments after, the feeling of Jonghyun lying down on his chest or leaning back against him as they're watching the waves or pushing him off as they attempt to wipe down the upholstery of his car seats. It's the dazed expression Jonghyun gives him when they're both done and sated, the one that Minhyun responds to with a dazed expression of his own. It's the conversations they still share even after all the sex, the talking and the laughter that reminds Minhyun why he was so drawn to Jonghyun in the first place.

But what he wants _so badly_ is that extra second, that little moment after midnight to at least look into Jonghyun's eyes one more time, to kiss him for a split second before it all fades to black again.

 _It's terrifying._ It's terrifying to want, to need, to willfully ignore the little flashes of Seongwu in his mind. It's terrifying to know that he's asking for the impossible when he's with Jonghyun, that he's even _considering it_. Because Minhyun isn't allowed to feel anymore. Because this isn't for _him;_ it's for Jonghyun. As long as he can keep convincing himself of that, maybe he could keep this going.

"Midnight," Jonghyun mumbles sleepily. They're on the hammock on Jonghyun's porch, and Minhyun sighs when he feels Jonghyun's legs sliding against his. Tonight was particularly tiring for them, but feeling Jonghyun completely melt into his arms as they dragged each other out to sit here made it all worth it.

"Minhyun," Jonghyun sits up slightly and strokes Minhyun's cheek, "I have—"

_Fade to black._

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun's doorbell is ringing. That's _weird_ because no one knows where he "lives" and he doesn't actually know anyone here, so… "Hi." Of course it's Jonghyun.

"You're early," Minhyun notes. "I was just about to start looking for you."

"I've been here for a while actually. I… I've passed over, Minhyun." Jonghyun is _beaming._ "Two days ago."

"Jonghyun, I—" Minhyun smiles sadly and cups one side of Jonghyun's face. "I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"You don't have to; I'll be here now. It's… _so much better_ than ever being in that reality of mine," says Jonghyun. Minhyun knows he hated his life, knows he was miserable and that he pitied himself more than others pitied him. Jonghyun has never looked so happy. "Minhyun, it's amazing here, more than I thought it was when I was just visiting. It's like… living a new life, being a new person, and I'm all I've ever wanted to be."

Minhyun wants to believe his words, wants to believe the almost frantic way in which Jonghyun is speaking as a sign that this is truly the afterlife that they need after so much suffering. But he's starting to read the patterns, and Minhyun already fears the words he think Jonghyun is about to speak.

"Minhyun, you should stay. Here. With me." Jonghyun looks up at him with hopeful eyes. "You should pass over."

Minhyun immediately lets go of him, and yet it seems like he's more affected by the loss than Jonghyun is. "I don't want to talk about this. I am _not_ going into some— some _pseudo-paradise_ when I know that Seongwu won't be here with me," he says through gritted teeth.

Jonghyun swallows the lump in his throat. "I know. But won't you at least stay for _me?_ "

Minhyun's eyes narrow at Jonghyun's words. Who was he to think that anything Minhyun feels for him is even slightly comparable to the devotion that Minhyun has for his husband? That whatever they've talked about or experienced in their weeks together will have any impact on the decision that Minhyun's made after truly losing his lover for over _fifty years?_

"I'm—" Jonghyun's hands start shaking. "I can't compete with Seongwu. Not with your memory of him, not with your love for him. I don't even _want_ to! That's a part of your life that I wasn't part of, and I don't want to erase that when I know how important it is for you." He takes a step forward. Minhyun takes a step back. "But that was your past. You've mourned for Seongwu, in the real world and in this one. Now you have a choice, and it can be a _happy_ choice. Because you're allowed to be happy again, Minhyun, even if it's not with Seongwu."

Jonghyun's eyes soften. "Even if it's not with me. Even if we're just friends; it doesn't matter. What I can't stand by is the thought that you'd take that grief to the grave with you. Because I'll take the loss of you so much harder than you think I would," Jonghyun whispers. "I don't want to do that without at least trying to bring you some joy here."

They stand there for a few minutes in silence. It seems like every time they have these confrontations, it's Minhyun who folds, who allows himself to be drawn into the magic of this world and into the magic of Jonghyun's words. It's so _easy_ to want to be happy, and yet Minhyun can't bring himself to the idea that he deserves it. He's sick of it, he's sick of thinking of it and thinking it and feeling it, but is it so easy to be rid of a person that's been your whole life? Is it easy to live with the guilt that maybe they could still be together in this afterlife if Minhyun weren't so selfish, if he didn't make Seongwu wait for so long?

"Get out," Minhyun says lowly. He opens the door and waits for Jonghyun to walk out.

"Minhyun, please—"

 _"Why?"_ Minhyun hisses. "Why would you ruin a good thing by asking _so much_ of me?"

That's what makes Jonghyun's breath catch in his throat, his soft lips parting as he gapes at Minhyun and his scathing tone. He walks back until he's out in the hallway, and all he sees is the way Minhyun squeezes his eyes shut before closing the door in Jonghyun's face.

As an afterthought, Jonghyun opens the door again, but Minhyun's gone. Logged out probably. And yet somehow Jonghyun's heart breaks at the thought that _this_ is their goodbye. One that ended in disappointment and soured dreams and the loss of the only person who brought something more than simplistic joy to Jonghyun's days here.

 

 

———

 

 

Jonghyun spends his time out and about, hopping through the decades every few days when he gets bored. Huh. So paradise really _is_ that boring.

Sometimes, when Jonghyun's tired of reading or walking around or looking for something to waste his time on, Jonghyun thinks of Minhyun. He thinks of those weeks when he was given more and more time to be here, but he didn't mind when waiting for Minhyun to come gave him purpose, gave him something to look forward to. Sometimes he thinks of passing away, but… what if Minhyun does come back? Won't it break him even further if he logged in here and found that the only other person he made a connection to was gone as well?

Jonghyun finds comfort in someone after a while, indulging a curiosity of his that he didn't think he was ever going to sate. He doesn't like the culture here of having sex with a stranger, not because he's some sort of _prude,_ but because it's always been impossible for him in real life. The only person he's ever been with was Minhyun, and that's special. That's not something he can just throw away and replace.

So when he finds someone, someone who has just as many regrets as he does, someone who's not so fooled by this world like the others, Jonghyun allows himself the simple pleasure of a warm body at night. Boa is older, wiser, so much more powerful, but in a world where reality doesn't matter, she's simply the girl who smiled at Jonghyun and mirrored the galaxy in his eyes, along with the faint sadness of living an unfulfilling life.

Much like him, she enjoys the afterglow, the calm of the night after everything's been said and done. She's not that close to death yet, just old and tired. When they meet, it's almost an instant connection. Jonghyun doesn't want to question it anymore.

They're on the porch, sitting on the steps, watching a dog lazily walk along the shore and avoid the waves. She's wrapped up in a blanket, wearing his discarded clothes from earlier this night. The coffee she prepared for herself is cold now, but it's not like she needs to stay up anymore; it's almost midnight.

"Something tells me you're waiting for someone," she says, bumping shoulders with him to get his attention. "A lover?"

Jonghyun shrugs. "A friend."

"A special one?"

"Very."

She smiles. "That's good. That's… something I've never had."

"Huh. I never pegged you for a bitter old lady," Jonghyun teases. She laughs at him, her smile so beautiful in the peace of the night.

"At least I'm not dead," she retorts, and it's the use of the word that shocks him. They use a lot of pretty words to cover it up: passing over, passing away; but it doesn't change the fact that it's just _death._

"Living, dying; it all seems so trivial when you've had a shitty life," says Jonghyun. Boa nods and breathes deeply. "When you've had nothing to live for, somehow living forever in a fantasy is… just that. A fantasy. A dream come true."

"And if you've actually been happy, it's a lot harder to let go of something you know is real. I only _wish_ I were happy enough to not want to stay here," Boa mumbles quietly. She regards him with curiosity and a gentle gaze. "Your friend— they were happy, weren't they?"

Jonghyun smiles. "How'd you know, mind reader?" It reminds him of a night that seems so long ago now. In some ways, it kind of has been a lifetime since then.

"Because something tells me you don't know if you're ever going to see this very special friend again." They look into each other's eyes, and Jonghyun sees nothing but understanding in her gaze. It's comforting to know that Boa's here and there's someone in this blissful world who's aware enough to have these conversations with him. Maybe if Jonghyun never sees Minhyun again, he can be with Boa instead. She's a different sort of cunning, but Jonghyun likes her company nonetheless. "Do you know…? If they're passing over or not?"

"I—" Jonghyun opens his mouth to answer, but he quickly realizes that he doesn't know what to say. "I mean, we've talked about it. I—"

In the blink of an eye, she's gone. _Midnight, of course._ Jonghyun sighs and cleans up his porch. It's starting to dawn on him that Minhyun may never see San Junipero in daytime. _His loss,_ Jonghyun tries to tease, but it seems more like _'my loss'_ in his ears.

 

 

———

 

 

Jonghyun's doorbell is ringing. He wants to ignore it, wants to stay in bed for a few more hours, but something about the urgency in the air rouses him enough to sleepily walk towards his front door. He doesn't expect to see Minhyun there again. He doesn't expect to see a suitcase behind Minhyun as Jonghyun wordlessly lets him in. He doesn't expect the soft sigh and the almost shy way that Minhyun avoids his gaze.

"You're… early," Jonghyun says. "I thought you had a few more months left to live."

"Infection. It worked fast," Minhyun says dryly. They stand in the living room for the longest period of time, longer than when they first met and Minhyun thought Jonghyun was insane, longer than the night when Minhyun sat on the beach and wished he never found out about Seongwu's death, longer than any silence they've shared before. Minhyun clears his throat. "That's all you have to say?"

"Minhyun, I— I don't know what to say," Jonghyun whispers. "I don't know where to begin. I don't know if I should be thanking you or asking you to thank me or just— _kiss you,_ maybe."

"Do it." Minhyun steps forward, takes Jonghyun's hands in his, and lets Jonghyun frame his face. Jonghyun's breathing gets shallower, faster as he's holding Minhyun's face and touching every feature he's been dreaming of for so long. "I'm real, Jonghyun. This… is real."

And it's those words that push Jonghyun to do it, pull him into Minhyun's space to share the softest kiss, similar to that very first hesitant one they shared on that night by the beach. Nothing more than a peck; there's no need to rush.

"I thought about it while I was dying. I thought about you." Minhyun's voice is raw, on the verge of tears. "My biggest regret in life… was leaving Seongwu here, waiting for so long. I didn't even drop by, I didn't think that he'd want me to. I was unfair to him, and I don't want to have that regret anymore, not with you."

"So," Jonghyun whispers, "your eternity here…"

"My eternity—" Minhyun breaks out into a grin. "Maybe… with you."

Needless to say, eternity is a long, long time. But they've missed out on a lifetime of each other already; they might as well make good use of the forever they have now. It's a lot easier than they thought it would be, but it all begins with one thought: _acceptance._

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god i marathon wrote this for two days so pls forgive any inconsistencies or the overall rushed feeling of it ,,,,, i tried a lot of things (writing in present tense, keeping things short lmao) but as you can see, u hh hhh i failed in some of those
> 
> for cey, my love, who spammed me with [these](https://curiouscat.me/junfhongs/post/417048285) [three](https://curiouscat.me/junfhongs/post/417050867) [cc prompts](https://curiouscat.me/junfhongs/post/417053307), so i ended up marathon writing this for two days <333 I LOVE YOU CEY I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT
> 
> title from Bolbbalgan4 - Galaxy
> 
> follow me on [twitter (@amenochieien)](https://twitter.com/amenochieien) or talk to me on [curiouscat (/junfhongs)](https://curiouscat.me/junfhongs)!!


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